Extract of Radium

Lucky Gambler, Extract of Radium addict, and alleged time-traveler John Havelock with a transdimensional glass of delicious, user-reprogrammable Extract of Radium.

Extract of Radium is the only true extract of radium.

Extract of Radium is available as a beverage and as downloadable software.

Extract of Radium is widely believed to be the product of an organized criminal chemistry syndicate.

Testimony

"What alcohol made you say I’ll never drink that again?"

Oh, it wasn't alcohol.

It was a transdimensional glass of delicious, user-reprogrammable Extract of Radium.

Bad news: lethally addictive

Good news: causes time travel

Hashtags: #ExtractOfRadium

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In the News

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  Phagey, the Extract of Radium mascot.

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  2018: Steganographic analysis of Two Bugs Fighting unexpectedly releases self-replicating computer virus which spontaneously generates Extract of Radium.

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  1999: Judge Havelock With Glass is "a reasonably accurate depiction of events as I experienced them," according to mathematician and alleged immortal John Havelock.

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  1974: Information management specialist and alleged crime boss Baron Zersetzung donates several hundred terabytes of recycled Extract of Radium to food shelves and internet cafes across the United States.

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  April 13, 1952: Extract of Radium opens state-of-the-art nightclub in Langley, Virginia. The signature cocktail, known as an MKUltra, is made of equal parts Extract of Radium and Clandestiphrine with a twist of Malvoleum.

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  Radium Jane wins contract to distribute Extract of Radium in the western United States, 1860 through 1900.

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  Performance artist and crime-fighter Brion Gysin uses hand-held scrying engine to detect and expose Extract of Radium marketing campaign.

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  Mispent Youth tastes even better with double shot of methylphenidate.

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  M. and Mme. Curie reverse engineering Extract of Radium.

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  Tiny spacecraft with alien "Happy Ending" software converts human sweat into Extract of Radium.

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  Wumpus-compass syndrome linked to Extract of Radium binge.

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  Radium Bazin poster infused with Extract of Radium, gets new lease on life.

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  Before his appearance in The Phantom Tollbooth, Tock the Clock Dog endorsed Extract of Radium in order to qualify for Who Wants to Be a Chronometer?.

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  Extract of Radium: Humans Love It!.

Fiction cross-reference

• Brainiac
• Conius Maculatus
• Crimes against chemistry
• Croesus Management
• Doctor Dead
• Euphoriolanus
• Green Lantern Acres
• Humans love it!
• Like a marble in a Codd-neck Klein bottle
• Lucky Gambler
• Metachondria - excessive congregation of metachondria has been reported to spontaneously generate Extract of Radium, precipitating scrimshaw abuse.
• Perpetual Sunshine for the Living Dead - a cocktail made from equal parts of Extract of Radium and rum and garnished with a splash of one or more hallucinogenic drugs, typically mescaline. It was manufactured from 1918 to 1928 by the House of Malevecchio, which during those years held exclusive distribution rights for Extract of Radium in the Greater Sol System Co-Prosperity Sphere.
• Pi disaster
• Radium Squeezer
• Scrimshaw abuse
• Super-Curie
• Stateless Protocol (perfume)
• Sweet, sweet crude oil
• Sympathy for the Devil for Peace
• Toffoli Rad
• Transdimensional corporation
• Traversal a plugin for Extract of Radium which allows the user to traverse back and forth within timelines, usually within a fixed time limit
• Turpentine Delight
• Tyler Tork
• Who Wants to Be a Chronometer?

Nonfiction cross-reference

• Amazon (company) (nonfiction) - one of the models for Extract of Radium ... "We Put the Extract Into Extractive Industries!"
• Extract of Radium (nonfiction)
• No True Scotsman (nonfiction)
• Radium (nonfiction)
• Sweet crude oil (nonfiction)
• Wealth Counter-Redistribution (nonfiction)