Tickets to my funeral

From Gnomon Chronicles

I just learned that some people, when they get married, require the guests to pay a fee to attend the wedding.

Which — speaking as a satirist (my life's work, mind you) — gives me an idea:

Charge people to attend my funeral.

I don't plan on dying soon; maybe my prospective mourners could put that money in an escrow account now?

At my funeral, the accrued interest can be applied to something nice that everyone will appreciate, such as those funeral sandwiches and pasta salads served by old ladies in church basements.

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  • Post @ Facebook (6 August 2025)