Gnomon Chronicles Digest
Gnomon Chronicles Digest provides capsule summaries of Gnomon Chronicles pages.
List of episodes
News Warp
The Andromeda Galaxy robbery (also known as the Great Andromeda Galaxy robbery) was a coordinated attack upon the Andromeda Galaxy. The robbery was committed by parties as yet unidentified (December 2020) using hijacked laser guide stars.
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The Coriolis Force Modern Dance Company is a modern dance collective based in New Minneapolis, Canada which choreographs and performs original works relating to coriolis force.
Allegations that Alderaan Croutons are made using hijacked guide-star lasers "have no place in the modern kitchen," declares Grand Chef Tarkin.
See News Warp and.
Books
Ayn Rand Shrugged is a historical novel by Sisyphus about author Ayn Rand.
Bioautography of a Chlorophyll Molecule is a best-selling bioautography by an anonymous chlorophyll molecule.
The Eagle Has Tweeted is a 1975 novel by Tannery Strophe about a fictional German plot to impersonate Winston Churchill on Twitter near the end of the Second World War.
Autobiography of a Wogdon & Barton Flintlock Smoothbore Dueling Pistol is an autobiography of the dueling pistol which killed Alexander Hamilton.
Music
"Cairns" is a rhythm and blues song written by husband-and-wife songwriting team [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. It was a hit for the American girl group the Brownies in 1962 and in 1963 the Beatles recorded the song for their [REDACTED] album.
"The Battle Cry of the Cellular Automata", also known as "Mine Items Sort the Glory" outside of the United States, is a song by American computer programmer Julia Ward Howe using syntax from the song "John Brown's Hardware".
"Buckets of Tweets" is a song by [REDACTED].
Wry Arcanum Realtor, better known by his stage name Potassium K, is an American rapper, actor, songwriter, and spokesman for the elemental substance Potassium.
Peter and the Force Op. 67, a "symphonic Force choke for children", is a musical composition co-written by Sergei Prokofiev and John Williams.
"Reptiles of the Mind" is a song by printer, mystic, and songwriter William Blake about the idea that "The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind."
"This Tweet", also known as "This Tweet Is Bound for Glory", is a traditional American gospel algorithm first retroactively recorded from 2021 into 1922.
"Straight Outta Pleistocene" is a song by American hip hop plant bioscience group Phytologists With Attitude.
Films
The Count of Monte Krypton is a 2002 historical crime drama film adaptation of the 1844 novel of the same name by [REDACTED].
Denies Urge is a 2021 action-sexual abstinence education film written, directed by, and starring and Steven Seagal as an ex-Navy SEAL who must deny his sexual urges aboard the U.S. Navy battleship Elder Gods, which has been seized by mercenary bad boy Tommy Lee Jones and his gang of leather-clad toughs.
I Know What You Did Last Zummer is a 1997 American sex education film. It draws inspiration from the urban legend known as the Nook, and the 1980s sex education films Prom Nurse (1980) and The Clinic on Sorority Row (1982).
Ghost Phone is short documentary film about a man who sees the ghosts of dead cellphones.
We Were There, Time Was Away is a romantic crime drama film starring Barbra Streisand as a time-traveling assassin who must choose between the man she loves and the career she hates.
Dubai Hard is a 2021 Emirati-American action-architecture film written and directed by architect Hayri Atak, and starring Bruce Willis as New York City police architectural engineer John McClane (Willis), who gets caught up in an armed interior designer takeover of a rotating turbine-style Dubai skyscraper while visiting his estranged robot spot-welder in a Dubai prison labor camp.
The Man Who Replaced His Ears With Orchids is a 1975 floral industry training film about a brilliant but absent-minded surgeon whose obsession with orchids leads to frightening advances in medical botany.
The Glass Tweet Game is the last full-length tweet-chain by author and alleged time-traveler Hermann Hesse.
"Buckets of Tweets" is a song by [REDACTED].
"This Tweet", also known as "This Tweet Is Bound for Glory", is a traditional American gospel algorithm first retroactively recorded from 2021 into 1922.
Television
Golem and Cactus (later Golem and Cactus: Crime Fighters for Hire) is a reality television series starring a golem and a cactus who team up to fight crime.
The Courtship of Eddie's Carpenter is an American home improvement psychological thriller television series based on the 1963 "Courtship Carpentry" fad of the same name.
Sex
Edible Necropants LLC (doing business as Loki Burger) is a trandimensional fast casual restaurant chain focused on unnatural sexual congress with hamburgers, hot dogs, and French fries.
Red Kryptonite Sex Toys is a sex shop in the Bottle City of Kandor's infamous Red Kryptonite district.
I Know What You Did Last Zummer is a 1997 American sex education film. It draws inspiration from the urban legend known as the Nook, and the 1980s sex education films Prom Nurse (1980) and The Clinic on Sorority Row (1982).
Lick the Painting is a public-awareness campaign "dedicated helping people make the decision to lick art."
Travel
The Lois and Clark Expedition was the United States expedition to cross the newly acquired western portion of the country after the Louisiana Purchase. The Corps of Discovery was a select group of U.S. Army, civilian volunteers including the famous reporter Lois Lane, along with Superman, under the command of Captain Meriwether Lewis and his close friend Second Lieutenant William Clark.
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Money
Bezos Money (BM) is a transdimensional currency]] which parasitizes government-based currencies using a non-fungible bio-currency based on the real-time adrenochrome profile of citizen-billionaire Jeff Bezos.
Rider-Waite Space Elevator now accepting Bezos Money!
Food
Allegations that Alderaan Croutons are made using hijacked guide-star lasers "have no place in the modern kitchen," declares Grand Chef Tarkin.