Diary (November 18, 2021)
Online diary of Karl Jones for November 18, 2021.
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Diary
Aging and death
The closer death is, the less scary it looks.
Talking about aging, here.
When I was young, death seemed unfair— a raw deal that life should end.
I'm sixty. Sure I want more life. But I won't feel cheated when the end comes.
(I could have 20 years, my doctor says.)
- Post @ Twitter
Inhibitions
Inhibitions distinguish us from beasts.
Sins of the father
My biological father abandoned my mother sometime during her pregnancy.
Mom made a legal contract with another man for a temporary marriage to span the time of my birth, to avoid the stigma of bastardry.
The legal father, who was gay, gained a hetero cover story.
Hard times.
- Post @ Twitter (18 November 2021)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I was born in 1961. Mom was 19.
I don't know much about her motives. She did what she thought best. I can only imagine the pressure she faced.
When I was 4 she married my dad, the man who raised me, Arthur Jones. He was a good man, who accepted me as his own.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I suffered in my heart for a long time: who is my father? and who am I to him? Why am I half-orphan?
I came to understand, we are not unusual.
History is full of children who have no father, no mother, or both. This is the human condition.
One finds a way to love oneself.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My sympathy to your child, and yourself. Hard times.
But take heart. We all find ways to keep going, to make our way in the world.
I turned out to be like my adoptive father, a good man, and not like my biological father.