Litany against decaffeination

The Litany Against Decaffeination.

The Litany against decaffeination (also known by its first sentence, I must not decaffeinate) is a parody of Frank Herbert's Litany against fear.

The Litany

The complete text reads:

I must not decaffeinate. Decaffeination is the mind-killer. Decaffeination is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my decaffeination. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the decaffeination has gone there will be a steaming hot cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Only the Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and I will remain.

Shortened version for social media:

I must not decaffeinate
Decaffeination is the mind-killer
—I will face my decaffeination—
Where the decaffeination has gone there will be a steaming hot cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
Only the Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and I will remain

Litany against fear

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

-- Frank Herbert

https://dune.fandom.com/wiki/Litany_Against_Fear

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