Coital cosmos: Difference between revisions
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[[File: | [[File:Coital cosmos model.jpg|thumb|Coital Cosmos model infographic.]]The '''Coital cosmos''' theory is a cosmological model of the observable universe from the earliest known periods of sexual arousal through its subsequent evolution into any of various sex acts. | ||
== Description == | == Description == | ||
The model describes how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature erotic arousal, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and the "[[Peano curve (sexual topology)|Peano Sex Curve]]" (an alleged transdimensional sexual topology which is said [by whom?] to exert pleasures normally unavailable to Euclidean organisms). | The model describes how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature erotic arousal, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and the "[[Peano curve (sexual topology)|Peano Sex Curve]]" (an alleged transdimensional sexual topology which is said [by whom?] to exert pleasures normally unavailable to Euclidean organisms). | ||
== Flaw in model == | == Flaw in model == | ||
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<gallery> | <gallery> | ||
File:The Best Little Debbie in Dallas.jpg|link=The Best Little Debbie in Dallas|'''''[[The Best Little Debbie in Dallas]]''''' is an American sex education film starring Bambi Woods and Dom | File:You Don't Bring Me Big Bangs.jpg|link=You Don't Bring Me Big Bangs|"'''[[You Don't Bring Me Big Bangs]]'''" is a song by cosmologists Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond. | ||
File:Pomegranate cosmos diagram.jpg|link=Pomegranate cosmos|The '''[[Pomegranate cosmos]]''' model of the observable how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and large-scale Pomegranate-Like Structures (PLS). | |||
File:Hovering Heart Conjugal Hotel with BASE Jumpers.jpg|link=Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel|'''[[Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel]]''' provides intimate aerial meeting places for elevated erotic encounters. Shown here: Two BASE jumpers fly-falling to a daring aerial tryst on a gravity-free heart bed. | |||
File:Belladonna Rice.jpg|link=Belladonna Rice|'''[[Belladonna Rice]]''' is a brand of beauty products and political toxins derived from ''Atropa belladonna'', commonly known as belladonna or deadly nightshade, a poisonous perennial herbaceous plant in the nightshade family ''Solanaceae''. | |||
File:How Unimaginable is Unimaginable.jpg|link=How Unimaginable is Unimaginable?|'''''[[How Unimaginable is Unimaginable?]]''''' is a short documentary film about an unholy threesome between Eros, Thanatos, and various Elder Gods. | |||
File:The Best Little Debbie in Dallas.jpg|link=The Best Little Debbie in Dallas|'''''[[The Best Little Debbie in Dallas]]''''' is an American sex education film starring Bambi Woods and Dom DeLuise. | |||
File:Lucky_Cosmos_diagram.jpg|link=Lucky Cosmos|'''[[Lucky Cosmos]]''' is an unlicensed transdimensional breakfast cereal camouflaged as an autonomous cosmological model which describes the observable universe from the earliest known "First Bowl" through its subsequent large-scale evolution into the most important meal of the day. | |||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
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== Fiction cross-reference == | == Fiction cross-reference == | ||
* [[Belladonna Rice]] | |||
* [[Crimes against astronomical constants]] | * [[Crimes against astronomical constants]] | ||
* [[Gnomon algorithm]] | * [[Gnomon algorithm]] | ||
* [[Gnomon Chronicles]] | * [[Gnomon Chronicles]] | ||
* [[Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel]] | |||
* ''[[How Unimaginable is Unimaginable?]]'' | |||
* [[Lucky Cosmos]] | |||
* [[Pink Trombone and Taffy Bomb]] | * [[Pink Trombone and Taffy Bomb]] | ||
* [[Pomegranate cosmos]] | * [[Pomegranate cosmos]] | ||
* [[The Best Little Debbie in Dallas]] | * [[The Best Little Debbie in Dallas]] | ||
* [[You Don't Bring Me Big Bangs]] | |||
== Nonfiction cross-reference == | == Nonfiction cross-reference == | ||
| Line 53: | Line 66: | ||
== External links == | == External links == | ||
* [https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1514646717492310034 Post] @ Twitter (14 April 2022) - #IrresponsibleAstronomy | |||
* [https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1430723511249735681 Post] @ Twitter (25 August 2021) | |||
* [https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1378086389884018690 Post] @ Twitter (2 April 2021) | * [https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1378086389884018690 Post] @ Twitter (2 April 2021) | ||
* [https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1358085356210552838 Post] @ Twitter | * [https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1358085356210552838 Post] @ Twitter | ||
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* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bang Big Bang] @ Wikipedia | * [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bang Big Bang] @ Wikipedia | ||
[[Category:Fiction (nonfiction)]] | |||
[[Category:Cosmology (nonfiction)]] | |||
[[Category:Diagrams (nonfiction)]] | |||
[[Category: | [[Category:Sex (nonfiction)]] | ||
[[Category: | |||
[[Category: (nonfiction)]] | |||
Latest revision as of 12:56, 23 January 2023
The Coital cosmos theory is a cosmological model of the observable universe from the earliest known periods of sexual arousal through its subsequent evolution into any of various sex acts.
Description
The model describes how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature erotic arousal, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and the "Peano Sex Curve" (an alleged transdimensional sexual topology which is said [by whom?] to exert pleasures normally unavailable to Euclidean organisms).
Flaw in model
Whoops—!
A flaw in the model—!
Plain text hashtag #WeHadSexAndNow
Image hashtag #WeJustHadSexAndNow
Well, let it stand; what is the worst that can—
TRANSMISSION ENDS
[Translator's log: memo to self, re-read "How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later"]
- Post @ Twitter
Hashtags
Hashtags: #WeHadSexAndNow
In the News
"You Don't Bring Me Big Bangs" is a song by cosmologists Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond.
The Pomegranate cosmos model of the observable how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and large-scale Pomegranate-Like Structures (PLS).
Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel provides intimate aerial meeting places for elevated erotic encounters. Shown here: Two BASE jumpers fly-falling to a daring aerial tryst on a gravity-free heart bed.
Belladonna Rice is a brand of beauty products and political toxins derived from Atropa belladonna, commonly known as belladonna or deadly nightshade, a poisonous perennial herbaceous plant in the nightshade family Solanaceae.
How Unimaginable is Unimaginable? is a short documentary film about an unholy threesome between Eros, Thanatos, and various Elder Gods.
The Best Little Debbie in Dallas is an American sex education film starring Bambi Woods and Dom DeLuise.
Lucky Cosmos is an unlicensed transdimensional breakfast cereal camouflaged as an autonomous cosmological model which describes the observable universe from the earliest known "First Bowl" through its subsequent large-scale evolution into the most important meal of the day.
Fiction cross-reference
- Belladonna Rice
- Crimes against astronomical constants
- Gnomon algorithm
- Gnomon Chronicles
- Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel
- How Unimaginable is Unimaginable?
- Lucky Cosmos
- Pink Trombone and Taffy Bomb
- Pomegranate cosmos
- The Best Little Debbie in Dallas
- You Don't Bring Me Big Bangs