Diary (November 18, 2021)

Online diary of Karl Jones for November 18, 2021.

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Diary

Aging and death

The closer death is, the less scary it looks.

Talking about aging, here.

When I was young, death seemed unfair— a raw deal that life should end.

I'm sixty. Sure I want more life. But I won't feel cheated when the end comes.

(I could have 20 years, my doctor says.)

• Post @ Twitter

Inhibitions

Inhibitions distinguish us from beasts.

• https://twitter.com/GnomonChronicl1/status/1461475702226755587

Sins of the father

My biological father abandoned my mother sometime during her pregnancy.

Mom made a legal contract with another man for a temporary marriage to span the time of my birth, to avoid the stigma of bastardry.

The legal father, who was gay, gained a hetero cover story.

Hard times.

• Post @ Twitter (18 November 2021)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was born in 1961. Mom was 19.

I don't know much about her motives. She did what she thought best. I can only imagine the pressure she faced.

When I was 4 she married my dad, the man who raised me, Arthur Jones. He was a good man, who accepted me as his own.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I suffered in my heart for a long time: who is my father? and who am I to him? Why am I half-orphan?

I came to understand, we are not unusual.

History is full of children who have no father, no mother, or both. This is the human condition.

One finds a way to love oneself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My sympathy to your child, and yourself. Hard times.

But take heart. We all find ways to keep going, to make our way in the world.

I turned out to be like my adoptive father, a good man, and not like my biological father.