Coital cosmos

Coital Cosmos model infographic.

The Coital cosmos theory is a cosmological model of the observable universe from the earliest known periods of sexual arousal through its subsequent evolution into any of various sex acts.

Description

The model describes how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature erotic arousal, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and the "Peano Sex Curve" (an alleged transdimensional sexual topology which is said [by whom?] to exert pleasures normally unavailable to Euclidean organisms).

Flaw in model

Whoops—!

A flaw in the model—!

Plain text hashtag #WeHadSexAndNow

Image hashtag #WeJustHadSexAndNow

Well, let it stand; what is the worst that can—

TRANSMISSION ENDS

[Translator's log: memo to self, re-read "How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later"]

• Post @ Twitter

Hashtags

Hashtags: #WeHadSexAndNow

In the News

• 

  The Pomegranate cosmos model of the observable how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and large-scale Pomegranate-Like Structures (PLS).

• 

  Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel provides intimate aerial meeting places for elevated erotic encounters. Shown here: Two BASE jumpers fly-falling to a daring aerial tryst on a gravity-free heart bed.

• 

  Belladonna Rice is a brand of beauty products and political toxins derived from Atropa belladonna, commonly known as belladonna or deadly nightshade, a poisonous perennial herbaceous plant in the nightshade family Solanaceae.

• 

  How Unimaginable is Unimaginable? is a short documentary film about an unholy threesome between Eros, Thanatos, and various Elder Gods.

• 

  The Best Little Debbie in Dallas is an American sex education film starring Bambi Woods and Dom DeLuise.

• 

  Lucky Cosmos is an unlicensed transdimensional breakfast cereal camouflaged as an autonomous cosmological model which describes the observable universe from the earliest known "First Bowl" through its subsequent large-scale evolution into the most important meal of the day.

Fiction cross-reference

• Belladonna Rice
• Crimes against astronomical constants
• Gnomon algorithm
• Gnomon Chronicles
• Hovering Hearts Conjugal Hotel
• How Unimaginable is Unimaginable?
• Lucky Cosmos
• Pink Trombone and Taffy Bomb
• Pomegranate cosmos
• The Best Little Debbie in Dallas

External links

• Post @ Twitter (14 April 2022) - #IrresponsibleAstronomy
• Post @ Twitter (25 August 2021)
• Post @ Twitter (2 April 2021)
• Post @ Twitter
• Post @ Twitter
• Big Bang @ Wikipedia