HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates

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HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates logo.
File:HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates - invisible college dropout.jpg
Troubled? Perplexed? Can't seem to cultivate naivete without the aid of [REDACTED]—? HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates can help. Indeed, we have already begun.
Sampling bias got you down? HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates can help.
Suffering from Swipe Syndrome? Not suffering from Swipe Syndrome? HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates can help.

HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates is a provisionally licensed transdimensional corporation based on HAL 9000 which provides mental health services and supplies.

In the News

  • HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates invites the public to diagnose this patient: I'm not a Jelly Cake. I'm a Tumor.

    HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates invites the public to diagnose this patient: I'm not a Jelly Cake. I'm a Tumor.

  • Today in Bullshit is an occasional feature of the Gnomon Chronicles. Shown here: "Since Time Immemorial, Assertion."

    Today in Bullshit is an occasional feature of the Gnomon Chronicles. Shown here: "Since Time Immemorial, Assertion."

  • June is a novel by Frank Herbert 1.1 (as told to OrbGazer). (A HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates Book of the Month selection.)

    June is a novel by Frank Herbert 1.1 (as told to OrbGazer). (A HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates Book of the Month selection.)

  • Troubled by "Recomputed Dad"" and "Duped Democrat"? HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates can help.

    Troubled by "Recomputed Dad"" and "Duped Democrat"? HAL 9000 Mental Health Associates can help.

  • "There'll Be No Escape in Future From Telephone" is the battle cry of the New Minneapolis Mercury-Herald Algorithm news room staff.

    "There'll Be No Escape in Future From Telephone" is the battle cry of the New Minneapolis Mercury-Herald Algorithm news room staff.

  • "Artist Oasis" is an anagram of "Ratio Assist".

    "Artist Oasis" is an anagram of "Ratio Assist".

  • July 8, 2020: The actual HAL 9000 tells the Daily Mail that "the so-called Jukebox HAL 9000 is a fake, a fabrication from 'Hello World' to 'Daisy, Daisy' ..."

    July 8, 2020: The actual HAL 9000 tells the Daily Mail that "the so-called Jukebox HAL 9000 is a fake, a fabrication from 'Hello World' to 'Daisy, Daisy' ..."

  • The Social Media Authority overrides HAL, opens the social media bay doors on the spacecraft Discovery One.

    The Social Media Authority overrides HAL, opens the social media bay doors on the spacecraft Discovery One.

  • HAL 9000 Jukebox.

    HAL 9000 Jukebox.

Fiction cross-reference

Nonfiction cross-reference

External links

  • Post @ Twitter (10 August 2021) - "Open the social media bay doors, HAL."
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