Coital cosmos

From Gnomon Chronicles
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Do-Over Cosmos model infographic.

The Coital cosmos theory (sometimes know as "Playskool's My First Big Bang", "Playskool's My First Panspermia", "Do-Over cosmos", etc.) is a cosmological model of the observable universe from the earliest known periods of sexual arousal through its subsequent evolution into any of various sex acts.

Description

The model describes how the universe expanded from an initial state of extremely high density and high temperature erotic arousal, and offers a comprehensive explanation for a broad range of observed phenomena, including the abundance of light elements, the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation, and the "Peano Sex Curve" (an alleged transdimensional sexual topology which is said [by whom?] to exert pleasures normally unavailable to Euclidean organisms).

Do-Over

The model provides (in theory) for post-sexual time reversal, thus "Do-Over".

Flaw in model

Whoops—!

A flaw in the model—!

Plain text hashtag #WeHadSexAndNow

Image hashtag #WeJustHadSexAndNow

Well, let it stand; what is the worst that can—

TRANSMISSION ENDS

[Translator's log: memo to self, re-read "How to Build a Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later"]

Hashtags

Hashtags: #WeHadSexAndNow

In the News

Fiction cross-reference

Nonfiction cross-reference

External links