Scrimshaw abuse

Residue from a scrimshaw abuse binge. These pieces are confined in a protective vitrine, to prevent further spread of the disease.

Scrimshaw abuse, sometimes known as ivory towering, is a patterned use of scrimshaw in which the scrimshander produces scrimshaw with images or side-effects which are harmful to themselves or others.

Description

Scrimshaw abuse is a form of matter-related disorder.

Extract of Radium correlation

Widely differing definitions of scrimshaw abuse are used in public health, medical aesthetics, and admiralty law contexts.

Extract of Radium is hazardously popular with scrimshaw abusers.

Correlation with irresponsible electrical circuit restraint

Some researchers [who?] have published algorithms suggesting that scrimshaw abuse has a significant correlation with irresponsible electrical circuit breaker restraint.

Dungeons & Dragons allegations

Dungeons & Dragons was blamed for a wave of "Teen-age Satanic scrimshaw abuse" during the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Subsequent investigation by APTO field psychologists disproved all of the allegations, demonstrating that the most vocal accusers were parents who themselves had secret scrimshaw abuse habits.

In the News

"My Wife Left Me For My Dog (While I Was Busking in the Street)" is a song by [REDACTED].
"Liquid Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang" (LCCBB) is a downloadable, user-reprogrammable cologne. The bottle's distinctive automobile design has an unusual feature — two decorative spare tires which conceal a Fleming valve. When activated, the valve emits "putt-putts" of non-Euclidean cologne.
Playskool's My First DSM
August 18, 2019: The phrase "It’s because of your taste buds that the Yorkshire Tea hurt Daddy’s brain" emerges from the brain of Karl Jones.
Scrimshaw artist Edward Burdett's life cut short by deck accident.
Poseidon warning against scrimshaw (550–525 BC). Inscription (not shown) reads: "Put down the knife. P."
Grave of the pirate Olivier Levasseurs, with cannon to ward of scrimshaw ghosts.
Flag of Pirate King Cinnamon Jack, scourge of the scrimshaw abuse trade.