Cretaceous Office Supplies
Cretaceous Office Supplies is an unlicensed transdimensional corporation which provides office supplies and associated support services to the Cretaceous period (the longest geological period of the entire Phanerozoic).
Evolution of Cretaceous marine office supplies
Office supply needs were simpler during the Cretaceous period.
Oceans were dominated by enormous reams of Legal standard paper.
The more familiar "Letter" standard of our day evolved later, in response to evolutionary pressure towards leaner, "just-in-time" organisms.
Etymology
The name Cretaceous is derived from the Latin creta, 'chalk', which is appears abundantly in the fossil records of classrooms and lecture halls during latter half of the period.
Transdimensional analysis
Cretaceous Office Supplies is officially an ephemeral manifestation of Phanerozoic Management Systems, a licensed but repeatedly censured transdimensional holding company widely believed to be a front for the nefarious House of Malevecchio.
APTO marine algorithm theorists believe that the House of Malevecchio is secretly diverting office supplies from the Cretaceous to some period outside the Phanerozoic for use by marine cryptid and alleged supervillain Neptune Slaughter.
History
Cretaceous Office Supplies was first detected and reported by author and APTO stringer Karl Jones in a Twitter post on the morning of 6 November 2020.
In the News
A Field Guide to Edible Theropods is a book about preparing, cooking, serving, and eating various theropods.
Musician-paleontologist Frondo Ediacar an "an epochal internship position" with Cretaceous Office Supplies during his youth. He became lost during the upper Cretaceous when an exceptionally complex inventory algorithm crashed on a heisenbug, and was eventually declared dead. Ediacar unexpectedly returned to contemporary time, having survived five weeks alone in the late Cretaceous (within a half-million years of the K–Pg extinction event), an experience he would later write about in the song "Asteroids Belt".
Fiction cross-reference
- Crimes against geological constants
- Did you step on a butterfly in Texas during a tornado while watching Jurassic Park in Brazil under the influence of JJ-180?
- Frondo Ediacar
- Gnomon algorithm
- Gnomon Chronicles
- Journal of Aberrant Paleontology
- Neptune Slaughter
- Phanerozoic Management Systems
- Transdimensional corporation
Nonfiction cross-reference
External links
- Post @ Twitter (27 April 2021)
- Post @ Twitter (27 April 2021)
- Post @ Twitter (7 April 2021) - "You insisted, so we existed!"
- Cretaceous @ Wikipedia
- Diplomoceratidae @ Wikipedia
- Ancient squid-like creature with paperclip-shaped shell may have lived for hundreds of years @ Phys.org
- Paper size @ Wikipedia