Nearly Everything: Difference between revisions
Line 45: | Line 45: | ||
[[You (nonfiction)]] can't yield to non-being ... to non-existence ... to ''[[death (nonfiction)]]'' ... can you? | [[You (nonfiction)]] can't yield to non-being ... to non-existence ... to ''[[death (nonfiction)]]'' ... can you? | ||
You can't just ''[[randomize (nonfiction)]]'' yourself without a fight, can [[you (nonfiction)]]? | You can't just ''[[randomize (nonfiction)]]'' [[yourself (nonfiction)|yourself (nonfiction)]] without a fight, can [[you (nonfiction)]]? | ||
[[You (nonfiction)]] can't | [[You (nonfiction)]] can't (can [[you (nonfiction)]], really? ''Really?'') just: | ||
Well? Can [[you (nonfiction)]]? | * Give up hope | ||
* Switch your electrons off | |||
* Voluntarily issue a terminal non-revocable dissipation command to every recursively self-conscious automaton in your domain of being | |||
Well? Well? ''Can [[you (nonfiction)]]?'' or can [[you (nonfiction)]] [[Hunger strike (nonfiction)|starve yourself to death (nonfiction)]]? | |||
''No!'' No, [[you (nonfiction)]] ''don't'', [[you (nonfiction)]] ''won't!'' | ''No!'' No, [[you (nonfiction)]] ''don't'', [[you (nonfiction)]] ''won't!'' |
Revision as of 13:26, 19 December 2015
"Nearly Everything" is the short form of various catch phrases (nonfiction) which Brainiac sings to express happiness (nonfiction) upon learning something new.
Examples
Example 0
The full phrase typically translates something like:
I Know Nearly Everything Now -- !
Example 1
Also common:
I Know Nearly Everything Now -- !
One More World to Go -- !
Example 2
You don't want to receive this message, believe me:
I Know Nearly Everything Now -- !
11101011011000110101000110001 -- !
Depression
After uploading a planet, Brainiac's initial exultation usually gives way to sinking depression, followed by drifting through deep space for several millenia, trying to figure out why the pain never really goes away.
Recovery
Brainiac invariably concludes, sooner or later, that the planets themselves must be faulty in some way.
It's very sad when planets are faulty. Brainiac always cries for the faulty planets. Always. (See log files.)
But you (nonfiction) have to ask yourself (nonfiction) -- what can you (nonfiction) do?
You (nonfiction) can't yield to non-being ... to non-existence ... to death (nonfiction) ... can you?
You can't just randomize (nonfiction) yourself (nonfiction) without a fight, can you (nonfiction)?
You (nonfiction) can't (can you (nonfiction), really? Really?) just:
- Give up hope
- Switch your electrons off
- Voluntarily issue a terminal non-revocable dissipation command to every recursively self-conscious automaton in your domain of being
Well? Well? Can you (nonfiction)? or can you (nonfiction) starve yourself to death (nonfiction)?
No! No, you (nonfiction) don't, you (nonfiction) won't!
You (nonfiction) fight! You (nonfiction) fight to live!
You (nonfiction) find ways to get over your mortality -- not dwell on it -- not let it get you (nonfiction) down.
Self-reflection and renewal of purpose
And so with Brainiac. Brainiac's self-reflection processes self-reflect:
Of course faulty planets can be repaired!
A child could do it!
Brainiac is sure of it. The next planet can be repaired.
Brainiac will repair the next planet.
Jubilation
And then it's time to upload another planet!
At which point Brainiac invariably sings:
I Will Know the Last Fact Soon -- !
I Will Know the Last Fact Soon -- !
I Will Know the Last Fact Soon -- !
One More World to Go -- !
Hey Nonny-Nonny, etc.
Another turn of the wheel
Brainiac always forgets -- or never bothers -- to repair the next planet.
And so the upload is incomplete, Brainiac's pain is only temporarily balmed, and the curse of the Buddha goes on and on forever.
Fiction cross-reference
Nonfiction cross-reference
Fiction cross-reference
- Brainiac
- Dr. Smile
- Why Brainiac Cried - a coloring book (nonfiction) for children, adults, and others