Maladaptionalized

Maladaptionalized is a parody of the song Institutionalized.

Lyrics

How can you say what our best interests are?

What are you trying to say, we're not adapted to our environment?
When we went through your Cambrian Explosion?
We learned to breath your oxygen,
We climbed up your beaches and evolved lungs?!
So how can you say we're not adapted?

They say they're gonna fix our government
Alleviate our pain and our suffering
But by the time they fix the species
The moon may be eclipsed by feces

We're adapting—! — [Maladaption!]
You're the one who's been snapping — [Maladaption!]
You're driving us crazy — [Maladaption!]
God stuck us in an incubator
Said "Good luck maybe see ya later"
Gave us the needed genetic engineering
To protect us from excessive cheering — Ourseloves

It doesn't matter, we'll probably be out-competed by parasitic wasps and mind-control fungus, anyway

Prelude

— you know that I suffer from COD (Compulsive Lampoonolepsy Disorder), right? Characterized by abrupt fits of puckish lampoonery, possibly masking hypertrophy of the Rabelasian-Swiftian lobe?

Truth? It's not suffering at all— more of a religious exaltation.

Okay, here we go, something like this —

Fiction cross-reference

• Gnomon algorithm
• Gnomon Chronicles