Template:Better Than News/January 12

• 

  In high-energy literature, Schrödinger's book review is a thought experiment that illustrates a paradox of quantum superposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical book reviewer cat may be considered simultaneously both loving and hating a particular book as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

• 

  Our Thing (better known as The Little Rituals or Hal Roach's Rituals) is a series of religious short films chronicling a group of poor neighborhood children and their sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions, or objects, performed according to a set sequence.

• 

  "Do You Carry Your Gun Into Church?" No, I wire the explosives to the collection plate. Now put on that fucking scuba mask and get in the baptismal font or I'll—

• 

  The Oompa Loompas of Pelham One Two Three is a 1974 American thriller film involving Oompa Loompas.

• 

  2001: Rise of the Space Odyssey of the Apes is an educational activity kit manufactured by [REDACTED] and distributed by the Greater Sol System Co-Prosperity Sphere.

• 

  Minty Fresh Potato Chips is a variety of potato chips distributed by Gnomon Chronicles Industries.

• 

  The Shakespeare-Magellan high-energy literature experiment will re-route Shakespeare's quantum timeline such that the Bard produces his entire body of historical work while serving as a Liberal Arts adjunct to Magellan's Expedition.